Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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