im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
