We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
