forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i barfeds in our rink
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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