Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
