i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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