At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
