You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
