you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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