This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
