tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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