he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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