o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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