Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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