so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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