Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
