I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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