if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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