Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Success! We fucked roommates!
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