I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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