Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize