She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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