did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
