my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
