I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
