"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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