Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
