so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
