Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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