Its about making memories worth repressing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
