WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
