I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
