this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
