Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize