Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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