I love black thongs
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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