at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
