Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize