I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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