He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize