i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
