Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
