you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
