let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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