Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
