what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
