UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
