did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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