why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
