You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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