I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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