I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
