I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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