I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
