meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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