You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize