dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
