haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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