I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just googled if crying burns calories
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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