I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
