My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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